Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
