It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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