I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
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