i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
