Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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