Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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