My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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