either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
