His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
