**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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