How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Randomize
