who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish you could order shots online.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
