yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
