do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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