We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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