There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
