I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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