Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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