I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
