I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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