I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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