i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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