spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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