I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
