That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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