I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
