she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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