1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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