The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
