She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
