it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
