Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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