And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
