mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
