I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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