We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
