I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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