I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
