summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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