the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
