At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
