I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
