Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
