i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
