smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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