the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
