the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
