Those balls look pretty dangerous.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
