I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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