had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
