she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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