I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
