You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
