That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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