Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
