Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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