I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
