Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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