He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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