my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
