My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
