yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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