stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
