I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
