And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
