White coat. Heels.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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